Life without the Internet

While searching about the effect the Internet has had on the concept of time I came across a funny story on The Morning News site about a little girl named Sally and how to do modern day tasks the way people would before the Internet. I copied the funnier parts out of it here...enjoy!

Googling Information

You’re unpacking the groceries when Sally walks in and starts tapping you on the arm.
SALLY: Maryland State bird.
YOU: What about it?
SALLY: Let me try: quote, state bird, unquote, Maryland.
YOU: Are you OK?
SALLY (to herself): Did I spell it wrong?
YOU: Spell what wrong?
SALLY: M-A-R-Y-L-A-N-D.
YOU: That spells Maryland.
SALLY: State bird.
YOU: (Pause)
SALLY: (Pause)
YOU: Sweetie, the Maryland state bird is an Oriole. It’s a black bird with an orange belly. Are you OK?

Emailing friends

This is where the video starts to look real old-timey. Sally sits down at a desk and gazes out the window while using a pehn to make swirly shapes on a piece of payper.(Forgive me if I’m misspelling anything. Some of these words are so out of date, spell check doesn’t even recognize them.) Since she’s still quite young, we see you proofreading her lehtir before she seals it up into a larger folded piece of payper known as an ennvilowp. Sally puts a stahmpe on the lehtir and males it with great satisfaction. Cut to the next day when Sally angrily approaches her friend Christine.
SALLY: Where were you yesterday?
CHRISTINE: When?
SALLY: Yesterday, after class.
CHRISTINE: I had ballet.
SALLY: Didn’t you get my message?
CHRISTINE: No.
SALLY: Really?
CHRISTINE: Yeah. What message?
SALLY: I asked you if you wanted to hang out.
CHRISTINE: Oh, no, I didn’t get it.
SALLY: Hm, the maleman must have a virus.
CHRISTINE: That sucks. He should run Live Update.